The Person That I Was

by misewell

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about

i tried to record an album in summer 2012, and didn't make much progress. whatevs. here are the demos. some are better than others and i'm not vouching for quality.

credits

released May 29, 2015

words and music by jacob testa

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Selfish Metaphor (A Lot Like Home)
i could tell a thousand stories
but they'd never be enough
to get my point across to you
quite the way i'd want
but if everything i've said
is just enough to get it right
then i could, i could, i could, i could
fall asleep tonight

and it's lonely
as i imagine i'm alone
in a selfish metaphor that's
become a lot like home
and i'm only
alive for the first time
in a perfect sense it's all been new
with every day gone by

and i could reminisce about
the best things that i've done
but living in the past could never
satisfy this hunger that's been
plaguing me for days
as i pretend that i'm alright
just passing on the things that i've
wanted all my life

and it's lonely
as i imagine i'm alone
in a selfish metaphor that's
become a lot like home
and i'm only
alive for the first time
in a perfect sense it's all been new
with every day gone by

and the truth is that i'm only this because i make it so
and if i never give myself the time, i won't ever grow
this is the only thing that i have needed all this time
but i'm so scared, i'm just so scared to see the world outside

and it's lonely
as i imagine i'm alone
in a selfish metaphor that's
become a lot like home
and i'm only
alive for the first time
in a perfect sense it's all been new
with every day gone by
in a perfect sense it's all been new
with every day gone by
and i need to change or else i don't
deserve to be alive
Track Name: Take Care Of The Little Things
it's been a long time waiting
since the last time that we met
and the pictures have been fading
like the memories in my head
and yeah, i know it's hard
to keep up with old friends
but not a minute goes by
that i don't think of back then

and even if you're worried,
all that matters is you tried
it's the effort put forward
that proves you're alive
and don't concern yourself
with all of life's complexities
just take care of the little things
and the big things will take care of themselves

just tell me if i'll ever
see you once again
i don't know if i'm comfortable
saying we're not friends
'cause even though moving on
is all i've ever known,
i wonder if you're ever
coming home

and even if you're worried,
all that matters is you tried
it's the effort put forward
that proves you're alive
and don't concern yourself
with all of life's complexities
just take care of the little things
and the big things will take care of themselves

and even if you're worried,
all that matters is you tried
it's the effort put forward
that proves you're alive
and don't concern yourself
with all of life's complexities
just take care of the little things
and the big things will take care of themselves
Track Name: Enough
there's no suspense
or urgency
and it seems that i've grown content
with a to b
this time i've spent here
has all been wasted
if i've done anything
it's been lateral movement

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure

and i'm not scared
though i'm hiding some fears
and the lights are all on
but there's no one else here
is this still where i am
it seems like it's been years
is this all i have left
how'd it all disappear

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure

and these minutes pass
and hours fly
this time don't last
these days go by
and nothing's done
i'll still be here
if i just sit and wait
for it to happen

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure

and i won't
leave this town
because stagnant is the state
that i've been rendered
and i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure
no i don't expect enough
i don't expect enough
to warrant failure
Track Name: Next Year
i'm walking down the same street
and i'm still the same old me
smiling like i've got an inside joke
with everyone i see

i've got everything at my fingertips
but not close enough to touch
and i'll wonder if i was wrong
to leave it up to luck

i couldn't tell you where i'll be tomorrow,
or let alone next year
and i'm torn between high and low,
all excitement and fear

because i never wanted to live forever
i'm all about right now
and everything i do runs counter
to who i am and i wonder how
i made it so far down this road
with just so little time
and all's well that ends well

i just wish that it was mine

i'm walking down the same street
and i'm still the same old me
admiring the misery
in everything i see

i've got sympathy on one hand
and contempt is at a loss
but there's a fine line between the two
that i'm just about to cross

i couldn't tell you where i'll be tomorrow,
or let alone next year
and i'm torn between high and low,
tortured by my fears

because i never wanted to live forever
i'm all about right now
and everything i do runs counter
to who i am and i wonder how
i made it so far down this road
with just so little time
and all's well that ends well

i just wish that it was mine
Track Name: Alright
i'm thinking of the things that i should do
to fix the holes within my soul so no one can see through
i'll make believe that i am what you see
and that no matter where i am, "here"'s where i should be

for one more night i'm still around
i won't worry about the why or how
because there's nothing that can bring me down
regardless of where i am right now
so with fingers crossed and both thumbs up
i know that i will be alright
and that a happy thought and bit of luck
will make the best out of this night
i'll be alright

i'm thinking of the things to say to you
to summarize these endless thoughts about what i should do
it's so much harder now that you are here
and from my open mouth, nothing comes out, exposing all my fears

but for one more night i'm still around
i won't worry about the why or how
because there's nothing that can bring me down
regardless of where i am right now
so with fingers crossed and both thumbs up
i know that i will be alright
and that a happy thought and bit of luck
will make the best out of this night
i'll be alright

i'm thinking of the things that are the truth
to give me something to hold onto when all else is cut loose
and that's enough to keep me on my feet
the simple thought of me and you means everything to me

for one more night i'm still around
i won't worry about the why or how
because there's nothing that can bring me down
regardless of where i am right now
so with fingers crossed and both thumbs up
i know that i will be alright
and that a happy thought and bit of luck
will make the best out of this night
i'll be alright

for one more night i'm still around
i won't worry about the why or how
because there's nothing that can bring me down
regardless of where i am right now

for one more night i'm still around
i won't worry about the why or how
because there's nothing that can bring me down
regardless of where i am right now
so with fingers crossed and both thumbs up
i know that i will be alright
and that a happy thought and bit of luck
will make the best out of this night
i'll be alright
Track Name: No Direction
don't look so down
the lights are fading fast
and the only thing we
really ever know
is the past

don't be afraid
it's only two more days
until we find that
nothing really matters
anyway

so smile away as though the night wasn't over
the only difference between the two is the date
live it up, give it all, show some color
with no direction and no light to show the way

with no direction and no light to show the way
with no direction and no light to show the way

you know they'll talk
and they'll tell you what to do
but you know that
the only one who can decide
is you

so just let go
you have no time to waste
the only thing to do
is let your heart
lead the way

and if other people
bring you down
you know you can always just turn around

so smile away as though the night wasn't over
the only difference between the two is the date
live it up, give it all, show some color
with no direction and no light to show the way
our lives are fast; soon they're here then they're over
all our time plays out between two dates
so make the best of the time you have
there's no direction and no light to show the way

there's no direction and no light to show the way
there's no direction and no light to show the way

so smile away as though the night wasn't over
the only difference between the two is the date
live it up, give it all, show some color
you know you'll always be the light that guides my way
Track Name: Spend Them All Again
this is the end of the world
if ever i've seen it
so this one's looking at you
and with all of my
mediocre feelings
at least some of them were the truth

and she says,
"every day, every day
a piece of me slips away"
as i put too much weight on my words
and everything, everything
means so much less
than i've been giving it worth
"and all that i can say
is that i'd give it all away
to have the days i've wasted back
to spend them all again"

are you looking for answers
in all the right places?
am i the one looking for you?
because of all that i try
it's the lies and secrets
that get me closer to the truth

and she says,
"every day, every day
a piece of me slips away"
as i put too much weight on my words
and everything, everything
means so much less
than i've been giving it worth
"and all that i can say
is that i'd give it all away
to have the days i've wasted back
to spend them all again"

the time i spend
regretting my choices
is surely the bigger
waste of time
the past is never
coming back
so spend your days
without regrets
and make the best of the time you have

and don't say
"every day, every day
a piece of me slips away"
as i put too much weight on my words
and everything, everything
means so much less
than i've been giving it worth
"and all that i can say
is that i'd give it all away
to have the days i've wasted back
wishing to spend them all again"
Track Name: Invincible
i feel like i could fly
but i'm scared of falling
i feel invincible
though i've got this feeling

that i just might break

confident and full of it
i'm tentative and calm
anxious and centered
too old and young

i feel odd and even
half full and empty
not sure i'm ready
or was for far too long

and i just might break

confident and full of it
i'm tentative and calm
anxious and centered
too old and young
brave and burnt out
i'm nervous and sure
strong and weak inside
too smart and dumb

jaded, complacent
together i'm a mess
mixed-up, clear-headed
i'm alive and dead
Track Name: Running In Place
luck you've failed me
so many times and this is
turning into something i don't know

and if you've found me
that only proves that i'm still
stumbling over things i have before

here's something simple, put it down
in words or notes or colors,
the story doesn't care how it gets told
i know it all sounds so absurd
but it's the only thing i've heard
and you don't want to know me
no, you don't want to know me
no, you don't want to know me at all

luck you've failed me
i'm letting go of things i
vowed to never let out of my sight

and if you know me
you know it's something
that i've struggled with
for all of my life

here's something simple, put it down
in words or notes or colors,
the story doesn't care how it gets told
i know it all sounds so absurd
but it's the only thing i've heard
and you don't want to know me
no, you don't want to know me
no, you don't want to know me at all

but sometimes i wish
that all of this
was something more
than running in place
and i know
it will get old
but thoughts run through my mind sometimes
and they're the only thing that i can find
and i just want to get away

here's something simple, put it down
in words or notes or colors,
the story doesn't care, if it gets told
i know it all sounds so absurd
but it's the only thing i've heard
and you don't want to know me
and i still want to know me
but you don't want to know me at all
Track Name: The Mirror
i don't want to be
consistent enough to know
just press repeat
i'm so predictable
rework, amend
believe me, i'm sure
i'll say it out loud
but we've heard this before

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
and taking me for what you see
just might be worse
than seeing nothing
at all

i'm trying to place
some meaning behind the words
to make it seem
as though they aren't just rehearsed
but you and i know
that i've done this before
and it's laughable to think
that i feel this anymore

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
and taking me for what you see
just might be worse
than seeing nothing
at all

i'm just the smoke inside of the mirror
slowly fading away to show a mirage
you can call me a fake, you can call me illusion
and by the time i'm gone, there's nothing to show i ever was

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
Track Name: The Best Day Of Your Life
The sun is shining on a brand new day
And I don't know why I feel this way
It's times like these I start to wonder
How I lost my direction

Get up, get up, this is what we're after
Come on, come on, and move a little faster
Tune out the bad and just hear the laughter
Open up your eyes
It's the best day of your life

Tomorrow's come and everything's okay
It's no surprise that nothing's changing
And every second living my life down
Is a second that I'm wasting

So get up, get up, this is what we're after
Come on, come on, and move a little faster
Tune out the bad and just hear the laughter
Open up your eyes
It's the best day of your life

This is the one, the one we've been after
It's time to see each day's a new chapter
So give it up, and live a little lighter
Open up your eyes
It's the best day of your life

I was waiting for a day
That I thought would never come
And all this time it was before my eyes
I should have known it was the one

So get up, get up, this is what we're after
Come on, come on, and move a little faster
Tune out the bad and just hear the laughter
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
It's the best day of your life
Track Name: The Person That I Was
so here i am again
thinking of back to when
you were on my side
the last time's on my mind

it's the perfect opportunity
to prove that i can be
the man who knows
exactly how to let things go
one foot down and the next one in front of it
forget about it

i pretend that i'm alright all the time
and try to forget my flaws
and i know you know
that i'm all wrong
if you can see right through me, tell me who i can be
i need something i can trust
oooh
i'm not the person that i was

can you take me back to home
'cause i don't think i know exactly
quite the way back to where i live
can you take me there again

for a moment there i thought that i
could turn the tides
and wash away what's drawn in the sand
but i don't think i can
i fear it shows too much of who i am

i pretend that i'm alright all the time
and try to forget my flaws
and i know you know
that i'm all wrong
if you can see right through me, tell me who i can be
i need something i can trust
oooh
i'm not the person that i was

i love you
but not enough to say i do
i love you
but not enough to say i do
Track Name: The Right Way
sometimes i wonder why i do these things i do
because there's no one else who seems to understand
there's people passing by and living tired lives
and i don't know why i do these things i do

but i try
and i'm living off this feeling

but that's just who am
and i'm sick of waiting
for the right way
to come along

while everybody else
thinks i'm a little crazy

but that's just who am
and i'm sick of waiting
for the right way
to come along

and i'm thinking maybe
i'm not all alone

i know that somewhere you're living like this too
in a separate life that i can never find
perhaps someday i'll find someone like you
to fill this void in me

and i'll try
to just stay myself

but that's just who am
and i'm sick of waiting
for the right way
to come along

but that's just who am
and i'm sick of waiting
Track Name: Same Old Failures
whisper something soft and slow
to calm my every nerve
the shrill sound of this empty room
reverberates my soul

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about

i know today is different
than every day before
but i can never change a thing
if i can't walk out this door

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard

this room it has me wishing
and wanting something more
i need to find it out because
i can't just ignore

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way that i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard