Halfhearted

by misewell

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about

these are demos of songs written between late 2009 and early 2010 and recorded around march 2010. figured i'd throw them up for free for fun.

credits

released May 15, 2012

words and music by jacob testa

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Atlantis
i am atlantis
the saddest dream you've had
lost, alone
a silhouette
counted among the living
but confused with the dead
and never concerned
with those that are left

i am atlantis

i am atlantis
what you had that slipped away
everything you wanted
and nothing that will stay
the thought of which consumes you
and leaves you wide awake
i am atlantis
one final mistake

i am atlantis

the sum of all achievement
forgotten, never heard
alive and well inside of you
and right where you were

i am atlantis
the frozen castaway
a monument to glory
a tribute to the day

i lied
Track Name: Banner To Self
can you give me this
please, just this one time
give me something
believable
yeah, can you give me this
one thing
anything
to put faith in

cause i've been searching for days
and i haven't found anything
honest, just be honest
i've been looking so long

banner to self
you need to get it together
because you haven't led yourself
to believe
just relax
take a step back and
ask yourself
just ask yourself
do you mean it?

can you tell me what
you see in those eyes
whenever you look
in the mirror
can't you see through it
how can
you take
it as real?

cause i've been searching for days
and i haven't found anything
honest, just be honest
i've been looking so long

banner to self
you need to get it together
because you haven't led yourself
to believe
just relax
take a step back and
ask yourself
just ask yourself
do you mean it?

because nothing is real
when your life is a lie
and even death will be an illusion
and confusion

banner to self
you need to get it together
because you haven't led yourself
to believe
just relax
take a step back and
ask yourself
just ask yourself
do you mean it?
Track Name: Halfhearted
my feet both drag
i've been picking up dust
i've tried to keep moving
but it's not quite enough
apparently it's all become
a little too much
because my weight's
been wearing me down

i thought i knew
i thought i knew
but oh, was i
so wrong
i thought i had myself
all figured out
but oh, was i
so wrong

maybe i've been
over-thinking
the things that don't
mean a thing
it just seems like
everything i try
is really
just too much

i thought i knew
i thought i knew
but oh, was i
so wrong
i thought i had myself
all figured out
but oh, was i
so wrong

can i get this right
for just this once
because i'm so tired
of being wrong
can i turn around
and change it up
because i've been
halfhearted and down

this is a promise i'll keep
this is a promise to me

i thought i knew
i thought i knew
but oh, was i
so wrong
i thought i had myself
all figured out
but oh, was i
so wrong

can i get this right
for just this once
because i'm so tired
of being wrong
can i turn around
and change it up
because i've been
halfhearted and down
Track Name: Something I Can't See
there's a silent voice inside my head
that i cannot ignore
because he only tells me things
that make me doubt
and when he asks me how i'm doing
i'm left a bit unsure
because he's always there inside me
anymore

and the answers to these questions
swarm around me like the crows
as the strength within to sound them
is as hollow as your ghost
and i'm leaning towards something
that i've never felt before
and i'm not sure i can fight it
anymore

he said, "there's a dozen ways to help you
but i know that i don't
because i can't put faith in something
i can't see"
"there's so much i could tell you
but i swear that i won't
because the fear of letting go
makes it so much harder to breathe"

and the answers to these questions
swarm around me like the crows
as the strength within to sound them
is as hollow as your ghost
and i'm leaning towards something
that i've never felt before
and i'm not sure i can fight it
anymore

hello, are you in there
how i hate to be alone
hello, are you in there
can you tell me what you know

and the voice within me answers
and i know somehow he knows
and i summon strength to listen
because i know he is your ghost
and you're pointing me towards something
that i've never felt before
i reach out to embrace it
and i'm sure
Track Name: Invincible
i feel like i could fly
but i'm scared of falling
i feel invincible
though i've got this feeling

that i just might break

confident and full of it
i'm tentative and calm
anxious and centered
too old and young

i feel odd and even
half full and empty
not sure i'm ready
or was for far too long

and i just might break

confident and full of it
i'm tentative and calm
anxious and centered
too old and young
brave and burnt out
i'm nervous and sure
strong and weak inside
too smart and dumb

jaded, complacent
together i'm a mess
mixed-up, clear-headed
i'm alive and dead
Track Name: Enough
there's no suspense
or urgency
and it seems that i've grown content
with a to b
this time i've spent here
has all been wasted
if i've done anything
it's been lateral movement

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure

and i'm not scared
though i'm hiding some fears
and the lights are all on
but there's no one else here
is this still where i am
it seems like it's been years
is this all i have left
how'd it all disappear

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure

and these minutes pass
and hours fly
this time don't last
these days go by
and nothing's done
i'll still be here
if i just sit and wait
for it to happen

and i won't
live this down
because i never do a thing
that i'll remember
no i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure
and i won't
leave this town
because stagnant is the state
that i've been rendered
and i won't
let me down
because i don't expect enough
to warrant failure
no i don't expect enough
i don't expect enough
to warrant failure
Track Name: The Mirror
i don't want to be
consistent enough to know
just press repeat
i'm so predictable
rework, amend
believe me, i'm sure
i'll say it out loud
but we've heard this before

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
and taking me for what you see
just might be worse
than seeing nothing
at all

i'm trying to place
some meaning behind the words
to make it seem
as though they aren't just rehearsed
but you and i know
that i've done this before
and it's laughable to think
that i feel this anymore

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
and taking me for what you see
just might be worse
than seeing nothing
at all

i'm just the smoke inside of the mirror
slowly fading away to show a mirage
you can call me a fake, you can call me illusion
and by the time i'm gone, there's nothing to show i ever was

maybe it doesn't matter
how hard i try
because we all know
how well the mirror lies
Track Name: Same Old Failures
whisper something soft and slow
to calm my every nerve
the shrill sound of this empty room
reverberates my soul

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way that i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about

i know today is different
than every day before
but i can never change a thing
if i can't walk out this door

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way that i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard

this room it has me wishing
and wanting something more
i need to find it out because
i can't just ignore

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way that i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard

and i swear i've never feared a thing
the way that i fear myself
if you'd just give me one moment
i'd tell you all about how

these are the same old failures
and this is how short i've come
i've romanticized every word
but they all come straight from the heart
and no it didn't kill me
but it came pretty close
these melodies of moving on
are all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard
all i've ever heard